you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize