Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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