It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize