Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Randomize
