Heybabeimwearingurpanties
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
