Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
