Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
We need a shit load of segways right now
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
