do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
