Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
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