So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
