id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
