i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
