They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
they call him Oral-B. enough said
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Randomize
