my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
He is an equal opportunity slut.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Randomize
