Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
4 words: hood of his car
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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