I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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