would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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