doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
