What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
and she was petting her beer can
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Randomize
