Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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