Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
