it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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