Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
