I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
