i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
