Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
