This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
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