What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
We're too hungover to prance.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize