i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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