who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
