I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
