Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
My bed smells like the plague
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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