so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I want to walk on stilts...naked
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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