I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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