sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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