omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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