so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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