I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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