the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
