My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
