Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
