those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
