just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Randomize
