You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
