Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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