Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Randomize
