It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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