life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
