I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Randomize