ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
