When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
