Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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