your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
