A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
