I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Randomize
