OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Too much gin, very little bucket
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Randomize
