Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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