I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Randomize
