He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
