WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Randomize
