I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
